Just keep in mind that the chances of him wanting to open up and talk about it — let alone seek help — are slim to none, at least at first.
This is based solely on the experiences of my veteran friends, as well as my own with a past paramour. The military teaches service members to trust their unit, and few others. If he comes to you with a problem, chances are he’ll talk about it until he no longer wants to and then go into lockdown. That is not a good thing or a bad thing, that is just a matter of fact and something you need to understand. Military men are used to their band of brothers, and are bred to be loyal and protective. Some branches of the military (I’m looking at you, Marines) have a feeling of superiority over others.
This list is not simply a composition of pros or cons, but rather an overview of what dating a service member active duty or veteran — is like. They are meant to be extremely close with this group of people and everyone else is simply on a need-to-know basis. It is not a competition between his military friends and you; they are people who shared a very intimate part of his life, and you should want to be close with them, too. He will love you fiercely and be the most faithful companion, if you can promise the same. Granted, that is earned due to the nature of their work and how much they put on the line.
We analyzed the 1,000 most popular words on both men and women’s profiles, tabulated the most popular movies and TV shows, and crunched stats on what people consider their best feature vs.
what features their potential dates are attracted to.
As such, some of the comments (which I have preserved) bring up points that I have since addressed in this revision.
Right off the top, you mentioned that you and he have agreed to be exclusive.
Many people wrongly assume that using an online dating service is the equivalent of throwing in the towel and screaming, "All right already, I'll do it - I'm desperate!
" Actually, online dating is not for the desperate.
I am asking because I don’t know if this agreement is assumed on your part or if he explicitly said, “Yes, you and I are exclusive…” or, better yet, “I want to be exclusive with you.” I’ll explain why I bring that up in a moment, but at any rate I agree with you that checking his dating profile seems out of step with having an exclusive relationship with you…
I also wouldn’t even classify this as snooping, per se. You didn’t somehow break into and read his emails or texts.
Expect sleepless nights, and bouts of being on the receiving end of awkward silences. You need to try your hardest to understand, get him to eventually talk about it (preferably to a professional) and pretty much avoid all triggers — like war movies. You will be inundated with more random facts about places like the Middle East or the South than you care to cram into your brain. I won a round of trivia just because I knew the currency in Bahrain. I am a sucker for someone who is passionate about his work. They are modern day heroes; if that’s not something to be proud of, I’m not quite sure what is! Basically, dating a Generation Y military man is no different than dating anyone else. His may be unimaginable to you, but that does not make him any better or worse.