I most often run into people dating while separated when they're separated themselves and involved with someone else who's separated too.
One of the most common temptations people fall for when a relationship is ending is the desire to find a new love - Often these people have been unhappy and missing love, companionship and sex for a longtime, and so there's a real pent-up, unmet need for love.Since I counsel men and women before, during and after a relationship or marriage, including through a divorce, I frequently see people dating when separated.I like how she brings it home to those points after discussions on the various topics.Had I read this last year I think it could have helped me understand more of where my boyfriend was coming from.Continually bringing us his ex will add stress to his life, forcing him to remember things he doesn't wish to. Some women doubt they are good enough, seeing herself and his ex as competitors. You are a person with your own beliefs, perspectives, and opinions, and those things are what attracted him to you.
The best way to help him to heal is to enjoy your time together.
What you have to keep in mind is that separated is still married until the divorce is finalised and that means that there’s likely to be emotional as well as legal ties.
It would be handy if we could avoid the vulnerability that comes with doing the due diligence and taking appropriate action where needed.
This is not the position you want to find yourself in during the relationship, as it will not only cause you a lot of frustration, but it will frustrate your partner as well.
Nor should you feel, in a manner, that you are being compared to his ex-wife, nor should you try to emulate her. He is interested in you for who you are, not who you can become - least of all his ex. Try not to get into lengthy conversations about the relationship he had with his ex.
We may be imagining all sorts of problems that may or may not exist or we’re rationalising our own boundaries, values, and even prior experiences of being in one of these situations (so knowing that we may struggle with the emotional consequences) and are thinking along the lines of, ‘Well…